These days I am becoming little religious overcoming my
label of atheist and started doing pranams at our house altar, where my mother
spend hours everyday to offer puja, two or three photographs of deities in our flat after taking morning bath. One of this photograph
happens to be of mine alongwith my wife standing outside the Kamakhya temple,
placed in my bed room. Photograph of the temple dome itself is enough reason to
give a holy pranam every morning!
One morning, while doing series of pranam, I suddenly realised
the photograph of Kamakhya temple missing and I am unconsciously doing pranam
to the blank wall! In fact the photograph was removed by my wife following some
routine chores of domestic war. Incidentally there were minor problems in my
works during that time and I inferred that the missing photo has something to
do with it. Although the domestic war was over, my wife somehow forgot to put
back the photograph.
As problem continued in my work, I finally thought it would
be wise to ask my wife to reinstate the photograph, citing the tension in my
works. For normally, I share all tensions with her. She took it by surprise, but
decided not to hurt my faith. Surprisingly enough, things got better within a
couple of days. My firm belief of non-existence of God was again shattered!
Previously, I did not require such prayers because I had
confidence in myself of whatever I decide to do. With the passage of time, with
increased responsibility of family, with increased complicacy of life, am I getting
defensive?
Any wrong decision costs a lot for both myself as well as my
family members and also my well-wishers. Realities of life often challenges our
confidence and gradually we tend to weak ourselves, needing some additional
support like praying to God.
Doing pranam at the blank wall was adding my confidence
until I realized its absence! If we analyse our prayers, we build up our
strength within ourselves by taking help of some deities, or idols or
photographs! If you have blind faith you gain immense mental strength by taking
support of an external force, and we face and handle situations to the best
level.
I wonder, if we can keep faith & confidence within
ourselves we can do miracles! No external supports are required. Nothing else,
at all. But probably we don’t want to take chances……..
The photograph is still on the cupboard!
